Dec 132008

Why is marijuana the only drug that leads to the fetishization and aestheticization of paraphernalia? Junkies don’t keep around hand-crocheted red-gold-‘n’-green tie-off belts. Cokeheads don’t carry around tie-dye-colored blown glass snorting tubes. Methheads are far more likely to chase the dragon from a lightbulb than a $500 vaporizer they ordered direct from the Netherlands off the Internet. And no crackhead has ever collected enough pipes to fill a display case – and of the pipes they do have, not a single one has ever been named after a Hobbit.

Clearly, there’s a missed opportunity for merchandising here. Imagine, whatever mysterious company markets this shit: a junkie cooks a hit in his trusty spoon, and smiling out at him from beneath the bubbling black tar is the Grateful Dead teddy bear. Or Lou Reed’s face. The possibilities are endless!

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