Nov 282008

Girl, I see you and your sensibly sexy haircut checkin’ out the carrots.

Beta carotene is good for your eyes, girl.

That shows that you are mad aware of the virtues of fine produce.


Girl, your forehead must be a duke and your chin must be a lady, because between them they got some aristocratic cheekbones.



Aww, no, baby. Don’t play like that.

Don’t you head towards that TV dinner and frozen pizza aisle.

Girl, don’t you do it.

A fine lady like you needs for only the freshest of fruits and vegetables, and meat products within reason.

Girl, let me make you some yellowfin nigiri. I’ll even tone down the wasabi, because I can tell you don’t dig spicy, but you are so fine that I’m willing to overlook that.

You already fillin’ those jeans rightly, ain’t no room for palm oil, potassium citrate and “cheese powder.”

But there is room for me.



Baby girl, you don’t run a Maserati on recycled restaurant oil, you feel me?

Aww, girl, what’d I say?


Baby, I hope your daddy’s a cardiologist, because you just broke my heart.